Being an "ally" has a variety of meanings for different people. The dictionary defines ally in two ways:  First, to unite or form a connection and secondly, to enter into alliance. For the purposes of this article let’s just say an ally is a friend.

             Imagine having few or no friends. Who would you turn to when you needed advice? Think for a moment about what it would be like if you picked up the phone and didn’t have anyone to call. Everyone deserves a friend: Someone who has got your back when others turn the other cheek, someone who understands you and loves you for who you truly are.

            If you or a loved one identifies as lesbian, gay, bi-sexual or transgender (LGBT), than you may know what it is like to feel as if you don’t have any friends. In 2009 the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network conducted a survey in schools nationwide. This survey found that 85% of LGBT students were verbally harassed at school because of their sexual orientation and 64% because of their gender expression. Thirty percent of LGBT students skipped class or skipped school all together, because they felt uncomfortable or fearful due to name calling, bullying or physical aggression towards them.

            Feeling safe and loved are basic necessities of life that NO human being should be denied. Fear, oppression, ridicule and shame have no place in society, schools or communities.

            Cortland Area Communities that Care and its partner agencies like the LGBT Resource Center, believe that healthy behaviors for all children and youth start with strong bonding to families, schools, communities, and peer groups. Reaching out to someone who is being bullied or ostracized can foster that attachment, thereby nurturing the needs of all youth. Sometimes, all it takes is being a good friend or ally.

            Being an ally is easy. Here are a few steps you can take to ally-up:

• Don’t use anti-LGBT language and slurs.  If you over hear someone use phrases like ‘that’s so gay’ or homophobic terms such as ‘fag’ or ‘dyke’ ask them not to use those terms and explain why they are degrading.
• If someone tells an offensive joke don’t laugh; instead tell them you find it offensive and degrading.
• Intervene, if you safely can, in situations where someone is being harassed. It is likely that you aren’t the only one to notice this negative behavior so step-up and be the change you want to see.
• Support efforts to end bullying and harassment for all people. If you model positive behavior then others will eventually follow.

            Next time you think about your own friends remember that everyone deserves to have someone to watch their back, to stand up for them, to be understood and most of all to be cared about enough to have allies. For more information on how to be an ally to an LGBT individual go to www.glsen.org.

            To become involved in local LGBT initiatives go to www.cnycenter.webs.com or call the LGBT Resource Center at 756-8970 ext. 2.

Kimberly McRae Friedman is the Director of the LGBT Resource Center, the Acting Director of Cortland Prevention Resources (formerly Seven Valleys Council on Alcoholism and Substance Abuse, Inc.), and a member of CACTC.