Positive Approaches to Parenting

A child’s self-esteem influences all aspects of the individual child’s life.  As a parent, one of the most important building blocks for the future you can give your child is self-worth.  A child’s view of him or herself affects the ability to deal with the challenges of life, the friends the child chooses and how successful he or she will be. By fostering a sense of fulfillment within your child, you are giving the skills needed to make good choices in the future. Here are a few ways you can help develop your child’s confidence, self-esteem and overall view of her or himself:

·         Allow the child to express his or her individuality.  Sometimes this can involve accepting personality traits you might prefer belonged to someone else’s child. This can be challenging to do because we adults often tend to judge people who are different from us. By allowing your child to express him or herself in an unique way you are teaching that you will always love him or her no matter what. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with all choices. It simply means that you are supportive through the learning process of life.

·         If you finish tasks that your child can do independently, you are enabling the young boy or girl to become dependent on you. Know the difference between helping and enabling.  No parent wants to see his or her child fail, but out of every life lesson grows a smarter, more independent child. So don’t do something for your son or daughter that the child can accomplish without your assistance. Use this website to help you determine at what age your child can complete certain tasks alone and what others might require adult help www.workingmom.com/age-guidelines.htm. 

·         Remember that your child is an individual and should not be compared to a sibling or a friend’s child. Such comparisons can make your child feel inadequate.  Instead of comparing children, try to communicate your expectations based on your own feelings and values. This will help the child understand what is important to you and avoid letting him or her think it is necessary to measure up to another child.

The following chart can help you with specific language to help build your child’s self-esteem: